Bad advice and valentines day

Yahoo recently has started to do this thing that MSN has been doing for some time. The top of the page has some links to articles of interest. Usually it has something to do with what is going on in the world. If it is Christmas there is an article or two on what to get a boy / girl friend. That type of thing.
I read this article for today and of course it was on first dinner date dos and don’ts because it is near Valentines Day. Fair enough. I have done my reading for school and have a few minutes to spare. So I read the article. One set for the men and one set for the women. So far so good.

Number 10 of the women’s article reads:
10. Even if you asked him out, give him a chance to pick up the tab (even if you end up treating or splitting). I know we live in a world of equality and all, but some things make a guy feel good and picking up dinner is often one of them.
Where number 10 of the men’s article reads:
10. Pay the bill, already. She'll do the faux wallet-reach, but that doesn't mean she actually wants to reach inside. If this one's a keeper, she'll pick-up the nightcap

Complete hogwash! Ask any guy. Very seldom have I EVER had a woman offer to pick up the tab. EVER.
Granted, if we are friends and I have paid relentlessly every time, eventually she feels obligated to pay. Recently I was surprised when the chick pulled out her card before I could even reach for the check. She is a good friend. I invited her. It may or may not have been a date. But nonetheless I was excited about it.

Last year I went out with a woman who makes many, many times what I will make my first year as an attorney. She drove a car that I won’t even be able to afford for several years. You get the idea.
We met at a really nice (read that as expensive) restaurant that SHE chose. We had dinner and a couple of drinks. I was well dressed, friendly, complimentary, and on my best behavior. We parted ways afterwards and didn’t go out again. I smiled, never said a word regarding the cost or tip and spent nearly $100 (the whole way home I added up how many weeks of Ramen noodles that date was going to cost me)
Now some of you are thinking – So?

I am a law student. I live on loans. I buy everything on sale. I go to the dollar store looking for deals. I look at my bank account everyday. I just don’t have the money to spend. But to make a decent impression I felt the need to do the gentlemanly thing and pay as expected. Once in a while is great. Even the majority of the time it is expected. But this scenario has played out time and again. And again! And it does so for every guy.

Those two numb sculls who wrote the article are clueless.
This line kills me:
“some things make a guy feel good and picking up dinner is often one of them.”

Yes, yes! You have it exactly! I love to spend money feeding other people and buying them drinks because it makes me feels good inside. It completes me as a person.

How about this one:
“Even if you asked him out, give him a chance to pick up the tab”
At this point I roll my eyes and clicked away.

Think about it.
Marriage advice columnist – Divorced
Political columnist – washed up has been (or never was) that gets his jollies trashing those in the public light
Fashion columnist – trash all but the most spectacularly dressed (while they themselves look like hobos)
Child rearing columnist – abusive overbearing parent with gay children
And finally
Dating advice columnist – these fall into one of two categories
1. Already married and clueless or forgetful about dating – (side bar – once a dating advice columnist gets married they automatically get cut from writing about it. They get to write the column on marriage and kids.
2. People with only pets to soothe their lonely rambling about dating as obesity sets in.

I don’t think that girls honestly understand the amount that guys spend on them.
Last spring I dated a girl for about a month (I hope she never reads this). At one point she made the comment that she bet that I was happy to be dating someone that didn’t expect for me to buy everything and that she contributed her share. I agreed and complimented her because some help is better than none.
But…
Guess again sweetheart.
During our relationship just so happened to be at a time when I was making a careful accounting of where I was spending money in order to work out a better budget. I wrote down everything. I kept all my receipts. In doing so I had to estimate her portion of all our food, beverages, etc. I spent well over $1000 on her. This is only food and drinks. She had no idea.
Once again, if you are thinking “So?” to yourself you can kiss it. That’s a lot of money on my budget.

The point to my female readers is this.
Don’t listen to these people. They are idiots. Nobody likes to spend money that they don’t have to. A guy asks you out because he is interested in you. He is only paying because he knows that you expect him to. If you are interested it him, show it by at least offering to go half. He will more than likely not let you and it may seem odd to him because no chick ever does it. But he will respect you. If you are not interested in him, it is your duty to pay your half and move on.
Equality has its ups and downs. In an era where more women go to college than men, you probably make more money than he does. If you make a half hearted offer to pony up even 40% of the time he will be impressed.
If he is in law school, take the poor boy out. He is broke. ;-)

Now that I have dished out my dating advice I suppose I should go buy a cat and some Twinkies, or get married.