trash day

During finals I have been pretty busy. I really just stop at my apartment to sleep, put the clothes in the washer into the dryer, put the clothes in the dryer on a pile in the chair in the living room, then shower, grab some clothes from the pile in the chair, and leave again. Lately I have rarely eaten here. Hopefully this will all change after finals and I can clean up, watch tv, and just chill for a bit. Untill then the schedule will have to continue for a bit.

I tied up the trash the other day to carry it to the dumpster at my apartment. The dumpster being a large mechanical device that no one here knows how to operate, and is conveniently located a quarter mile away and then uphill. So I plan on taking out the trash quite regularly but it never happens as planned.
As I said before, I tied up the trash and then closed the lid again, meaning very well to carry it out. But, alas. I did not do it. Apparently I got in a hurry and forgot. Since then I have not put anything in that trash can. Yesterday morning I stumbled into the kitchen to look in the fridge. (This by the way is pointless. I know good and well that I have not been grocery shopping in at least a week.) Anyway I notice the smell. Which is undoubtedly coming from the trash can and make a mental note to take it out.

Note: mental notes are as good as gone during finals time. If it doesn’t have anything to do with law school and I don’t write it on a post it note and staple it to my forehead I wont remember.

This means that if I really want to carry out the trash and don’t want to forget I need to bag it up and set it out side the door so that I trip over it and am forced to take it to the dumpster. There are two problems with this.
1. Most people frown on trash bags just laying around in front of the apartments and;
2. The lovely ducks that grace the ponds around my apartment are carniverous and will tear into aforementioned trash bags like raving lunatics. Thus leaving your previously well manicured plastic container of smelly trash now strewn across half of God’s creation. At which point you can either blame it on your neighbor or suck it up and pretend you are doing time for community service and pick up the damn trash.
I prefer to do neither. Therefore I didn’t take out the trash

So tonight I come home and notice something amazing. There is NO smell in the kitchen??????
Whatever is in there has either:
1. Decomposed to the point that it no longer stinks.
2. Has been carried away as carrion by vultures who were let in accidentally by the maintenance man; or
3. by ants (there are no ants in my kitchen so I ruled this one out – or on the other hand they may have decided that there was nothing fit to eat here and moved on); or
4. has regenerated and is now lying in wait for me to open the lid to carry it out tomorrow. As we all now know, lying is wait will constitute first degree murder and I will be well within my rights to bludgeon it to death in self defense.

So right now I am making a mental note to carry out the trash. On second thought… Where is that stapler anyway?