It looks like Puffy's jackets came from Scruffy.
From the AP:
"Macy's has pulled from its shelves and its Web site two styles of Sean John hooded jackets, originally advertised as featuring faux fur, after an investigation concluded that the garments were actually made from a certain species of dog."
Those darn Chineese kids will sew up anything for twelve cents a day.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Friday, December 22, 2006
The vacuum
I was cleaning up the apartment so that when I return from Christmas with my folks I will come home to a clean apartment and don’t have to worry about it. Thus making my return that much more enjoyable.
Anyway…
I am vacuuming the dining room and use the little detachable hose to get into the corners. It isn’t working very well. “Oh well” I figure it just needs to have the bag replaced. So I turn it off and open the cover.
STOP FILM
REWIND TO 3 WEEKS AGO
I am vacuuming and decide to replace the bag because it appears to be full. I take the bag out and throw it away. Upon a thorough search of the entire apartment, it appears that I am out of vacuum cleaner bags. I go to Wall-Mart but they are out of the bags for my vacuum. I return home and make a mental note to try somewhere else for vacuum cleaner bags. I remind you that mental notes are useless to me.
STOP FILM
NOW FAST FORWARD TO 1 WEEK AGO
Without knowing the bag is missing. I vacuum the entire house. I sneeze alot for a day or so.
STOP FILM
NOW FAST FORWARD TO THIS EVENING
I open the cover and look puzzled for a few moments. Then I realize. There is NO bag. The entire inside of the vacuum is full of fuzz, dust, and a fine sand like substance that I can only imagine is some sort of carpet freshening stuff that I have sucked up into the workings of the vacuum. The HEPA filters have kept everything inside the vacuum. Unfortunately doing this has also ruined all of the filters.
So then I go to Wal-Mart and fight the weekend before Christmas crowd in order to pick up new bags and filters.
Wal-Mart does not have the bags or filters. So I try the next place.
Home Depot does not have the bags or filters. So I try the next place.
Lowes has both the bags and all the filters. I spend 15 mintues trying to figure out which ones go to my vacuum because the filter packages all have the model numbers located conveniently on the package. This would be a great big help if my vacuum had a model number somewhere on it. There is no number anywhere. Just Eureka Hepa. I turned the thing over twice looking for a number. No cigar.
I get everything home and spend the next half hour cleaning out the vacuum and hoping that it does not explode the next time I use it.
I get every thing put back together close my eyes and press the start button. I jump back waiting for the vacuum to start blowing out dust like a Texas sandstorm or shoot sparks in all directions.
Nope, it just hums right along.
Mental note: When I become a lawyer - hire a maid.
Anyway…
I am vacuuming the dining room and use the little detachable hose to get into the corners. It isn’t working very well. “Oh well” I figure it just needs to have the bag replaced. So I turn it off and open the cover.
STOP FILM
REWIND TO 3 WEEKS AGO
I am vacuuming and decide to replace the bag because it appears to be full. I take the bag out and throw it away. Upon a thorough search of the entire apartment, it appears that I am out of vacuum cleaner bags. I go to Wall-Mart but they are out of the bags for my vacuum. I return home and make a mental note to try somewhere else for vacuum cleaner bags. I remind you that mental notes are useless to me.
STOP FILM
NOW FAST FORWARD TO 1 WEEK AGO
Without knowing the bag is missing. I vacuum the entire house. I sneeze alot for a day or so.
STOP FILM
NOW FAST FORWARD TO THIS EVENING
I open the cover and look puzzled for a few moments. Then I realize. There is NO bag. The entire inside of the vacuum is full of fuzz, dust, and a fine sand like substance that I can only imagine is some sort of carpet freshening stuff that I have sucked up into the workings of the vacuum. The HEPA filters have kept everything inside the vacuum. Unfortunately doing this has also ruined all of the filters.
So then I go to Wal-Mart and fight the weekend before Christmas crowd in order to pick up new bags and filters.
Wal-Mart does not have the bags or filters. So I try the next place.
Home Depot does not have the bags or filters. So I try the next place.
Lowes has both the bags and all the filters. I spend 15 mintues trying to figure out which ones go to my vacuum because the filter packages all have the model numbers located conveniently on the package. This would be a great big help if my vacuum had a model number somewhere on it. There is no number anywhere. Just Eureka Hepa. I turned the thing over twice looking for a number. No cigar.
I get everything home and spend the next half hour cleaning out the vacuum and hoping that it does not explode the next time I use it.
I get every thing put back together close my eyes and press the start button. I jump back waiting for the vacuum to start blowing out dust like a Texas sandstorm or shoot sparks in all directions.
Nope, it just hums right along.
Mental note: When I become a lawyer - hire a maid.
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
Grades coming in
Grades are starting to filter in. One of mine came in today. I know people that have several back already.
Do I wait until after Christmas (or even New Years) or do I check constantly everyday and obsess about it.
I think neither one. I am sure that every time a grade is posted online that I will get half a dozen text messages or phone calls telling me that another grade is in.
Will I have the self control to wait? Or do I dash madly to the nearest computer and log on to check? That is the big question.
If I was a professor, I think I would do all the grading ahead of time and then take the time after that to just relax over Christmas break instead of just doing a little here and a little there.
Hey – whatever gets me a good grade? I don’t really care. I just don’t want to think about it.
But I can’t help my self.
Do I wait until after Christmas (or even New Years) or do I check constantly everyday and obsess about it.
I think neither one. I am sure that every time a grade is posted online that I will get half a dozen text messages or phone calls telling me that another grade is in.
Will I have the self control to wait? Or do I dash madly to the nearest computer and log on to check? That is the big question.
If I was a professor, I think I would do all the grading ahead of time and then take the time after that to just relax over Christmas break instead of just doing a little here and a little there.
Hey – whatever gets me a good grade? I don’t really care. I just don’t want to think about it.
But I can’t help my self.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
blogging
I spent 20 minutes writing a blog. It was well worded and made some pretty good arguments. But when I read it I realized that the arguments were too full of holes. The arguments were well reasoned but had no facts to base the analysis on. There was no supporting material. I just wrote what I thought. I read it and then trashed the whole thing. If it doesn’t have facts to support it, then it is just fiction.
Law school does a lot of things to you. It definitely changes the way you think. I can’t even enjoy bitching about something anymore.
Law school does a lot of things to you. It definitely changes the way you think. I can’t even enjoy bitching about something anymore.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Bunco
The American Heritage dictionary defines “Bunco” as a swindle in which an unsuspecting person is cheated.
Saturday night I had been suckered into playing Bunco. I have never before played Bunco and probably will not play again. Bunco appears to be a dice game for women in which they all cheat furiously. The best cheater wins. You keep your own score and the one with the highest score wins. I paid 5 bucks along with 15 other partygoers to see which woman would lie the best.
I think the secret to Bunco is that you have to lie in such a manner that it is believable to all the other Buncoers. An outlandish score will draw attention and likely detract from your future invitations to play Bunco. But a score that is on the fringe of believability gets you the cash.
Ok here is the guy version of gambling:
You don’t EVER EVER EVER get to keep your own score!
We generally hire a guy in a striped shirt or at least someone to act as a dealer in order to keep the whole affair as honest as possible.
If somebody else got to keep his own score we would automatically call BS regardless of what he claimed, even if it was “zero”.
Even if your boys backed you by saying that you were not cheating, I am still calling BS and waiting for you outside to get my money back.
Guys would never invent a gambling game that involved someone ringing a little silver bell and certainly not one that requires you to yell “Buncing!” at any point.
I want my five bucks back
Saturday night I had been suckered into playing Bunco. I have never before played Bunco and probably will not play again. Bunco appears to be a dice game for women in which they all cheat furiously. The best cheater wins. You keep your own score and the one with the highest score wins. I paid 5 bucks along with 15 other partygoers to see which woman would lie the best.
I think the secret to Bunco is that you have to lie in such a manner that it is believable to all the other Buncoers. An outlandish score will draw attention and likely detract from your future invitations to play Bunco. But a score that is on the fringe of believability gets you the cash.
Ok here is the guy version of gambling:
You don’t EVER EVER EVER get to keep your own score!
We generally hire a guy in a striped shirt or at least someone to act as a dealer in order to keep the whole affair as honest as possible.
If somebody else got to keep his own score we would automatically call BS regardless of what he claimed, even if it was “zero”.
Even if your boys backed you by saying that you were not cheating, I am still calling BS and waiting for you outside to get my money back.
Guys would never invent a gambling game that involved someone ringing a little silver bell and certainly not one that requires you to yell “Buncing!” at any point.
I want my five bucks back
Monday, December 11, 2006
One More
One more test to go. In less than 24 hours it will all be over. I’m burnt out and trying to study. I think I did ok on the Criminal law test but forgot to talk about accomplice liability (Oh well, too late now – and besides, I am so burnt out that it took me 4 [no,5] times to type that last sentence). I have constitutional law tomorrow morning and then it will be over. That one has me worried.
I’ve got to go study.
I’ve got to go study.
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Saturday night, tractors, law school, & POS cars
1:14 am Saturday night
I just walked in the door from the law library.
Thinking: Damn, if this was not law school and I was regular Joe, I would not be coming in just yet. And if I was, I would be hammered.
Anyway. My neighbor (obviously inebriated – which is indicated by the angle by which her car is parked) has left her parking lights on. So I knock on her door, and call her, and I sent her a text message, all to no avail. The car lights remain on.
Not to worry. After years of driving a POS automobiles, I grew accustomed to carrying a wide variety of tools. Tools such as coat hangers; butter knives; duct tape; a variety of fuses; and of course, jumper cables in my car. (At one point I actually carried the front fender of my car in the back seat for a while - but that is another story.) I was “POS Car Super Jerry-rigger Extraordinaire”. After actually buying a real quality non-POS, I refuse to ever go back. I just hope that this one makes it through law school. If not, I will have to borrow my dad’s tractor.
Living in Montgomery, I would obviously need an alarm installed on it.
And since this is Montgomery, I will obviously need to get some sweet rims on it as well. I wouldn’t want anyone to laugh at me for driving a tractor to school without rims or at the very least some chrome spinners. I think John Deere green and chrome would go great together.
I could cruise into the law school parking lot, use the front end loader to push that annoying little Mercedes Benz out of the way and always have a parking spot right up front. I could lower the plow attachment onto the car behind me (that way it wouldn’t get dirty from the ground) and then walk into class, making sure to press the alarm button on the key chain so I could hear that neat little “chirp –chirp”.
I feel so utterly unprepared for my last two finals. I really have to get after it all day tomorrow and Monday morning. I have one final Monday afternoon and one first thing Tuesday morning.
I just walked in the door from the law library.
Thinking: Damn, if this was not law school and I was regular Joe, I would not be coming in just yet. And if I was, I would be hammered.
Anyway. My neighbor (obviously inebriated – which is indicated by the angle by which her car is parked) has left her parking lights on. So I knock on her door, and call her, and I sent her a text message, all to no avail. The car lights remain on.
Not to worry. After years of driving a POS automobiles, I grew accustomed to carrying a wide variety of tools. Tools such as coat hangers; butter knives; duct tape; a variety of fuses; and of course, jumper cables in my car. (At one point I actually carried the front fender of my car in the back seat for a while - but that is another story.) I was “POS Car Super Jerry-rigger Extraordinaire”. After actually buying a real quality non-POS, I refuse to ever go back. I just hope that this one makes it through law school. If not, I will have to borrow my dad’s tractor.
Living in Montgomery, I would obviously need an alarm installed on it.
And since this is Montgomery, I will obviously need to get some sweet rims on it as well. I wouldn’t want anyone to laugh at me for driving a tractor to school without rims or at the very least some chrome spinners. I think John Deere green and chrome would go great together.
I could cruise into the law school parking lot, use the front end loader to push that annoying little Mercedes Benz out of the way and always have a parking spot right up front. I could lower the plow attachment onto the car behind me (that way it wouldn’t get dirty from the ground) and then walk into class, making sure to press the alarm button on the key chain so I could hear that neat little “chirp –chirp”.
I feel so utterly unprepared for my last two finals. I really have to get after it all day tomorrow and Monday morning. I have one final Monday afternoon and one first thing Tuesday morning.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
the paper chase clip
I thought some of you might like this. Especially law students. This is a famous scene of the tyrannical Professor Kingsfield, played by John Houseman in “The Paper Chase”.
It is the "sculls full of mush" and “At times you may feel that you have found the correct answer. I can assure you that this is a total delusion on your part.” clip.
http://www.cs.uni.edu/~wallingf/blog-multimedia/the-study-of-the-law.wmv
You will have to cut it an paste it into the address window in your browser because for some reason it will not just let it be a clickable link.
It is the "sculls full of mush" and “At times you may feel that you have found the correct answer. I can assure you that this is a total delusion on your part.” clip.
http://www.cs.uni.edu/~wallingf/blog-multimedia/the-study-of-the-law.wmv
You will have to cut it an paste it into the address window in your browser because for some reason it will not just let it be a clickable link.
Friday night
Ok, so I avoided a complete and total mauling by the bear named "Civil Procedure Test". I may have escaped with only minor injuries.
However, (I swear to God that I have never started a written sentence with the word “However” until I started law school) His brother bears named “Criminal Law Test” and “Constitutional Law Test” are hot on my trail and hungry for blood.
If I “bob” when I should have “weaved” then I am a gonner.
Once again at midnight (this time on a Friday – OMG I need my freaking life back) I am the ONLY person now at the law school. It has been deserted by all but me since sometime around 10pm. I commandeered a conference room and now sit at the head of the board. Ok, so it isn’t really. But I am sitting at the big table all by myself and it makes me feel important if only for a short period of time.
My plan to get naked and run all willy-nilly through the halls of the law school was thwarted when I realized that the really bored security guy having to sit in front of the camera monitors all night may actually take the time to tape it and then post it on the internet because he has nothing else to do. So…..
I got another email from a friend that wanted to know if I was still alive. I actually took the time to respond to this one because I need to take a break from studying. I have not read a book that was NOT written by someone named Glannon or Emanuel or the good folks at Barbri, since forever. I need a break. My brain is full. I am tired. I am stressed. I am rushed. I am at wits end. When I get like this I usually take time out to go look at some of Norman Rockwell’s paintings online and it makes me feel better because everything is good there - and then there is balance in the world. Everything makes sense.
If I had the option of him painting me into any one of his paintings right now I don’t really know which one I would want to be in.
Because any place besides this law school would not seem like home.
As bad as this all sucks right now.
As bad as this all is.
As bad as it all seems.
This is where I belong.
However, (I swear to God that I have never started a written sentence with the word “However” until I started law school) His brother bears named “Criminal Law Test” and “Constitutional Law Test” are hot on my trail and hungry for blood.
If I “bob” when I should have “weaved” then I am a gonner.
Once again at midnight (this time on a Friday – OMG I need my freaking life back) I am the ONLY person now at the law school. It has been deserted by all but me since sometime around 10pm. I commandeered a conference room and now sit at the head of the board. Ok, so it isn’t really. But I am sitting at the big table all by myself and it makes me feel important if only for a short period of time.
My plan to get naked and run all willy-nilly through the halls of the law school was thwarted when I realized that the really bored security guy having to sit in front of the camera monitors all night may actually take the time to tape it and then post it on the internet because he has nothing else to do. So…..
I got another email from a friend that wanted to know if I was still alive. I actually took the time to respond to this one because I need to take a break from studying. I have not read a book that was NOT written by someone named Glannon or Emanuel or the good folks at Barbri, since forever. I need a break. My brain is full. I am tired. I am stressed. I am rushed. I am at wits end. When I get like this I usually take time out to go look at some of Norman Rockwell’s paintings online and it makes me feel better because everything is good there - and then there is balance in the world. Everything makes sense.
If I had the option of him painting me into any one of his paintings right now I don’t really know which one I would want to be in.
Because any place besides this law school would not seem like home.
As bad as this all sucks right now.
As bad as this all is.
As bad as it all seems.
This is where I belong.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Monster
There is a vicious, ferocious, mean, ill tempered, monster of a bear stalking me.
Its name is “Civil Procedure Test”. It has been stalking me all semester. It is close to catching up with me. I expect it to attack me about 2pm tomorrow.
Its name is “Civil Procedure Test”. It has been stalking me all semester. It is close to catching up with me. I expect it to attack me about 2pm tomorrow.
Gumpism # 2
Dubs: (noun)
Twenty-two inch car rims.
From the number “two” being said twice, thus doubled “twos” = 22
As in: “I got that heavy chevy ridin’ on Dubs.”
Dubs that spin continuously after stopping are called “spinners”.
Twenty-two inch car rims.
From the number “two” being said twice, thus doubled “twos” = 22
As in: “I got that heavy chevy ridin’ on Dubs.”
Dubs that spin continuously after stopping are called “spinners”.
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Gumpism # 1
I constantly get barraged with new “street terms” for things. So I am starting my own ghetto dictionary called “Gumpisms”. That way you can be caught up on the new slang and never left out of the loop when talking to your friends.
Gumpism Number 1
Dunk: (noun)
Refers to a highly customized 70's era chevy usually with 20 plus inch rims, candy paint jobs, and booming sound systems.
Believed to have originated from the word Dunky (pronouced "dun-kee") which is the large posterior of a woman.
As in the song lyrics by the 69 boys – “Gimmie that dunky butt and ‘em big ole legs. I aint too proud to beg. I’m gonna break it down and beg like James. Ple-ease, Ple-ease. Let me ride that dunky dunky. Let me ride that dunky dunky.”
Gumpism Number 1
Dunk: (noun)
Refers to a highly customized 70's era chevy usually with 20 plus inch rims, candy paint jobs, and booming sound systems.
Believed to have originated from the word Dunky (pronouced "dun-kee") which is the large posterior of a woman.
As in the song lyrics by the 69 boys – “Gimmie that dunky butt and ‘em big ole legs. I aint too proud to beg. I’m gonna break it down and beg like James. Ple-ease, Ple-ease. Let me ride that dunky dunky. Let me ride that dunky dunky.”
Domo Arigato, Mr. Roboto
Time and again through out law school I am asked by those that live outside the hallowed halls of justice “Is it hard?”
Duh!
I am at a loss to tell them exactly how hard it is.
It is nothing like graduate school of any kind other than maybe doctors or veterinarians. (but then again I nearly failed undergrad biology sooooooo)
I have figured out a way to explain it
Imagine putting together a something really complicated. Say a robot.
You have only rudimentary diagram written in Chinese in which you can understand the occasional tab “A” going into slot “B”.
You spend five or ten minutes staring at the diagram and then back at the pile of parts trying to figure it out. It is confusing and your brain just can’t quite seem to grasp what goes where and why.
Now imagine doing that 12 to 15 hours a day.
Now imagine no diagram and no picture of what it is supposed to look like when it is assembled.
Now imagine that the robot looks different where you live because your state decided it should look a certain way.
Now imagine that if you don’t get the robot assembled in time, and correctly, you loose your job and go substantially into debt all at the same time.
Now imagine that you can only find out how to put the contraption together by going to classes in which you read about tiny electronic parts that seem to have nothing to do with how it works. You can’t asks questions, but the teacher asks YOU questions about how you think it should work.
Then tells you that you are wrong.
Then you go into debt to buy books that tell you about each part.
Some of the other people who are putting together robots may lie to you about how to put the robot together so that yours will not work.
Then they tell you draw your own diagram and put the parts together.
Then you show up one day and they hand you a new pile of parts and give you three hours to put it all together and explain how you put it together.
If you can’t put your robot together in time or if your robot works but does not work as good or look as pretty as the other robots your family is ashamed of you, everyone considers you a failure, and you have to pay the robot people 20 grand for allowing you to try to put together their robot.
If you do succeed, you get to put together 4 more robots this semester and then you get to do that for about 3 years.
Then you get to try to put together a giant robot made out of all your other robots. But the state gets to design your robot and the pieces don’t really fit. You are supposed to find the pieces that fit together the best.
If your robot doesn’t work you wasted 3 years and 100 grand and can’t work for anybody putting together robots because you are not licensed to do so.
By the way -
I took out the trash today.
Duh!
I am at a loss to tell them exactly how hard it is.
It is nothing like graduate school of any kind other than maybe doctors or veterinarians. (but then again I nearly failed undergrad biology sooooooo)
I have figured out a way to explain it
Imagine putting together a something really complicated. Say a robot.
You have only rudimentary diagram written in Chinese in which you can understand the occasional tab “A” going into slot “B”.
You spend five or ten minutes staring at the diagram and then back at the pile of parts trying to figure it out. It is confusing and your brain just can’t quite seem to grasp what goes where and why.
Now imagine doing that 12 to 15 hours a day.
Now imagine no diagram and no picture of what it is supposed to look like when it is assembled.
Now imagine that the robot looks different where you live because your state decided it should look a certain way.
Now imagine that if you don’t get the robot assembled in time, and correctly, you loose your job and go substantially into debt all at the same time.
Now imagine that you can only find out how to put the contraption together by going to classes in which you read about tiny electronic parts that seem to have nothing to do with how it works. You can’t asks questions, but the teacher asks YOU questions about how you think it should work.
Then tells you that you are wrong.
Then you go into debt to buy books that tell you about each part.
Some of the other people who are putting together robots may lie to you about how to put the robot together so that yours will not work.
Then they tell you draw your own diagram and put the parts together.
Then you show up one day and they hand you a new pile of parts and give you three hours to put it all together and explain how you put it together.
If you can’t put your robot together in time or if your robot works but does not work as good or look as pretty as the other robots your family is ashamed of you, everyone considers you a failure, and you have to pay the robot people 20 grand for allowing you to try to put together their robot.
If you do succeed, you get to put together 4 more robots this semester and then you get to do that for about 3 years.
Then you get to try to put together a giant robot made out of all your other robots. But the state gets to design your robot and the pieces don’t really fit. You are supposed to find the pieces that fit together the best.
If your robot doesn’t work you wasted 3 years and 100 grand and can’t work for anybody putting together robots because you are not licensed to do so.
By the way -
I took out the trash today.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
trash day
During finals I have been pretty busy. I really just stop at my apartment to sleep, put the clothes in the washer into the dryer, put the clothes in the dryer on a pile in the chair in the living room, then shower, grab some clothes from the pile in the chair, and leave again. Lately I have rarely eaten here. Hopefully this will all change after finals and I can clean up, watch tv, and just chill for a bit. Untill then the schedule will have to continue for a bit.
I tied up the trash the other day to carry it to the dumpster at my apartment. The dumpster being a large mechanical device that no one here knows how to operate, and is conveniently located a quarter mile away and then uphill. So I plan on taking out the trash quite regularly but it never happens as planned.
As I said before, I tied up the trash and then closed the lid again, meaning very well to carry it out. But, alas. I did not do it. Apparently I got in a hurry and forgot. Since then I have not put anything in that trash can. Yesterday morning I stumbled into the kitchen to look in the fridge. (This by the way is pointless. I know good and well that I have not been grocery shopping in at least a week.) Anyway I notice the smell. Which is undoubtedly coming from the trash can and make a mental note to take it out.
Note: mental notes are as good as gone during finals time. If it doesn’t have anything to do with law school and I don’t write it on a post it note and staple it to my forehead I wont remember.
This means that if I really want to carry out the trash and don’t want to forget I need to bag it up and set it out side the door so that I trip over it and am forced to take it to the dumpster. There are two problems with this.
1. Most people frown on trash bags just laying around in front of the apartments and;
2. The lovely ducks that grace the ponds around my apartment are carniverous and will tear into aforementioned trash bags like raving lunatics. Thus leaving your previously well manicured plastic container of smelly trash now strewn across half of God’s creation. At which point you can either blame it on your neighbor or suck it up and pretend you are doing time for community service and pick up the damn trash.
I prefer to do neither. Therefore I didn’t take out the trash
So tonight I come home and notice something amazing. There is NO smell in the kitchen??????
Whatever is in there has either:
1. Decomposed to the point that it no longer stinks.
2. Has been carried away as carrion by vultures who were let in accidentally by the maintenance man; or
3. by ants (there are no ants in my kitchen so I ruled this one out – or on the other hand they may have decided that there was nothing fit to eat here and moved on); or
4. has regenerated and is now lying in wait for me to open the lid to carry it out tomorrow. As we all now know, lying is wait will constitute first degree murder and I will be well within my rights to bludgeon it to death in self defense.
So right now I am making a mental note to carry out the trash. On second thought… Where is that stapler anyway?
I tied up the trash the other day to carry it to the dumpster at my apartment. The dumpster being a large mechanical device that no one here knows how to operate, and is conveniently located a quarter mile away and then uphill. So I plan on taking out the trash quite regularly but it never happens as planned.
As I said before, I tied up the trash and then closed the lid again, meaning very well to carry it out. But, alas. I did not do it. Apparently I got in a hurry and forgot. Since then I have not put anything in that trash can. Yesterday morning I stumbled into the kitchen to look in the fridge. (This by the way is pointless. I know good and well that I have not been grocery shopping in at least a week.) Anyway I notice the smell. Which is undoubtedly coming from the trash can and make a mental note to take it out.
Note: mental notes are as good as gone during finals time. If it doesn’t have anything to do with law school and I don’t write it on a post it note and staple it to my forehead I wont remember.
This means that if I really want to carry out the trash and don’t want to forget I need to bag it up and set it out side the door so that I trip over it and am forced to take it to the dumpster. There are two problems with this.
1. Most people frown on trash bags just laying around in front of the apartments and;
2. The lovely ducks that grace the ponds around my apartment are carniverous and will tear into aforementioned trash bags like raving lunatics. Thus leaving your previously well manicured plastic container of smelly trash now strewn across half of God’s creation. At which point you can either blame it on your neighbor or suck it up and pretend you are doing time for community service and pick up the damn trash.
I prefer to do neither. Therefore I didn’t take out the trash
So tonight I come home and notice something amazing. There is NO smell in the kitchen??????
Whatever is in there has either:
1. Decomposed to the point that it no longer stinks.
2. Has been carried away as carrion by vultures who were let in accidentally by the maintenance man; or
3. by ants (there are no ants in my kitchen so I ruled this one out – or on the other hand they may have decided that there was nothing fit to eat here and moved on); or
4. has regenerated and is now lying in wait for me to open the lid to carry it out tomorrow. As we all now know, lying is wait will constitute first degree murder and I will be well within my rights to bludgeon it to death in self defense.
So right now I am making a mental note to carry out the trash. On second thought… Where is that stapler anyway?
Night Owl
Not much to report today.
It is 1 in the morning and I am the only person (I think) at the law school. I shut down the library around midnight and kicked out all the Faulkner Univ. students who were there studying for finals. The law students had long since left.
I sat in one of the class rooms with some buds going over criminal law for a while but they bailed about 12:30 or so.
Civil Procedure is on Friday and then I have two tests next week (Crim. law on Monday afternoon and Con. Law on Tuesday morning – then work at the law library on Tuesday night till midnight) This means that I have to either prepare some more during the week for these two tests or do it all this weekend. Civ. Pro. might not be the hardest test but it is surely the one that offers the most opportunity for confusion and trip ups. Crim. Law I expect to be mostly elements and Con law is…… Well, hell, it is Constitutional Law. Theoretically it is pretty challenging.
Well, I hear security coming around to lock up the building since they think no one is here. So I will say goodbye for now.
It is 1 in the morning and I am the only person (I think) at the law school. I shut down the library around midnight and kicked out all the Faulkner Univ. students who were there studying for finals. The law students had long since left.
I sat in one of the class rooms with some buds going over criminal law for a while but they bailed about 12:30 or so.
Civil Procedure is on Friday and then I have two tests next week (Crim. law on Monday afternoon and Con. Law on Tuesday morning – then work at the law library on Tuesday night till midnight) This means that I have to either prepare some more during the week for these two tests or do it all this weekend. Civ. Pro. might not be the hardest test but it is surely the one that offers the most opportunity for confusion and trip ups. Crim. Law I expect to be mostly elements and Con law is…… Well, hell, it is Constitutional Law. Theoretically it is pretty challenging.
Well, I hear security coming around to lock up the building since they think no one is here. So I will say goodbye for now.
Monday, December 04, 2006
first final is over
Today I had my first final for the semester which was property. The dean of our law school taught this semester and I was able to find about 7 of his previous tests (most of which with model answers and covered an entire decade) from the Pepperdine web site. He used to teach there. Between that and the two finals that I had from him since being at my school I pretty much thought I knew what he was going to ask.
WRONG!!!!!!
Out of all the tests that I was able to look at, this was by far the hardest.
Before I even got to school my buddy called and asked me to come pick him up. His truck had been broken into over the course of the night and his radio, cd changer and whatnot were gone. He didn’t have time to call the cops before the test so we decided to do it afterwards. I picked him up and we proceeded to the school.
The proctor passed the exams down the row, carefully counting out each one. She came up short on every row. How do you do that? I mean miscounting once, maybe twice is excusable but damn.
Anyway we all get the exam and proceed to start the software for softest (Examsoft – Hey, this may be Alafreakinbama but technology hasn’t completely passed us by), and sure enough every other computer in the room restarts with that stupid annoying “taaadaaadaaa”. This is after the poor woman has asked everyone to mute their computers. So after diligently listening to the instructions I shoved a set of ear plugs in and went to work. The earplugs being quite useful because at least 50% of the class has depth perception problems and punches the keyboard with each stroke using the same force as Mike Tyson hitting a heavy bag.
By the end of the multi-state portion (that’s multiple choice to the rest of the world) I would have agreed that the answer was a shifting reversionary contingency interest in the remainder of a 3rd parties contract liability that did not violate the rule of perpetuities due to the second charity exception or something to that effect. (Don’t worry, if you didn’t understand enough about property law for that last sentence to be funny then you understand almost as much as I do.) At this point I chose the letter of the day which is “C”, because that is what I hope to salvage out of this test.
The first essay wasn’t horrible but there wasn’t enough time to finish it.
The second essay was so convoluted that there was no clear answer or way to argue it. Maybe I will post more about it after the A.D.D. folks finish taking their 6 hours to take the test (remind me to rant about that later).
We got back to my buddies place and called the cops. Some short fat black chick who squeaks when she talks showed up 15 minutes later, spent 5 minutes writing his personal information and asking him if he had the serial numbers to his stolen stereo (honestly, who keeps track of that crap – apparently folks who are able to get their stolen merchandise back from the pawn shop – that’s who). No fingerprints, no elaborate CSI investigation. Just a “Call us if you find anything else missing.”
My buddy asks: “What happens now?”
She says: “I don’t know I don’t work crime. I just do traffic.”
I was thinking: “Well I guess the night stick, pepper spray, handcuffs, and 9mm are all to protect the cop from those darn murderous speed demons out there terrorizing the community. Wow, I run a stop sign and my ass is grass but as far as crime – oh well. I guess that means you can steal anything you want as long as you walk. But if the get away car is too speedy you may get a ticket.”
So that’s it. I have one test down and several more to go. The week is just beginning and it is not looking so great for the home team. I think I know a guy from back home that sells meth. Maybe he can talk to some folks, put in a good word and get me a job on a corner. Apparently if my corner is in Montgomery and I walk to work I will never get busted.
WRONG!!!!!!
Out of all the tests that I was able to look at, this was by far the hardest.
Before I even got to school my buddy called and asked me to come pick him up. His truck had been broken into over the course of the night and his radio, cd changer and whatnot were gone. He didn’t have time to call the cops before the test so we decided to do it afterwards. I picked him up and we proceeded to the school.
The proctor passed the exams down the row, carefully counting out each one. She came up short on every row. How do you do that? I mean miscounting once, maybe twice is excusable but damn.
Anyway we all get the exam and proceed to start the software for softest (Examsoft – Hey, this may be Alafreakinbama but technology hasn’t completely passed us by), and sure enough every other computer in the room restarts with that stupid annoying “taaadaaadaaa”. This is after the poor woman has asked everyone to mute their computers. So after diligently listening to the instructions I shoved a set of ear plugs in and went to work. The earplugs being quite useful because at least 50% of the class has depth perception problems and punches the keyboard with each stroke using the same force as Mike Tyson hitting a heavy bag.
By the end of the multi-state portion (that’s multiple choice to the rest of the world) I would have agreed that the answer was a shifting reversionary contingency interest in the remainder of a 3rd parties contract liability that did not violate the rule of perpetuities due to the second charity exception or something to that effect. (Don’t worry, if you didn’t understand enough about property law for that last sentence to be funny then you understand almost as much as I do.) At this point I chose the letter of the day which is “C”, because that is what I hope to salvage out of this test.
The first essay wasn’t horrible but there wasn’t enough time to finish it.
The second essay was so convoluted that there was no clear answer or way to argue it. Maybe I will post more about it after the A.D.D. folks finish taking their 6 hours to take the test (remind me to rant about that later).
We got back to my buddies place and called the cops. Some short fat black chick who squeaks when she talks showed up 15 minutes later, spent 5 minutes writing his personal information and asking him if he had the serial numbers to his stolen stereo (honestly, who keeps track of that crap – apparently folks who are able to get their stolen merchandise back from the pawn shop – that’s who). No fingerprints, no elaborate CSI investigation. Just a “Call us if you find anything else missing.”
My buddy asks: “What happens now?”
She says: “I don’t know I don’t work crime. I just do traffic.”
I was thinking: “Well I guess the night stick, pepper spray, handcuffs, and 9mm are all to protect the cop from those darn murderous speed demons out there terrorizing the community. Wow, I run a stop sign and my ass is grass but as far as crime – oh well. I guess that means you can steal anything you want as long as you walk. But if the get away car is too speedy you may get a ticket.”
So that’s it. I have one test down and several more to go. The week is just beginning and it is not looking so great for the home team. I think I know a guy from back home that sells meth. Maybe he can talk to some folks, put in a good word and get me a job on a corner. Apparently if my corner is in Montgomery and I walk to work I will never get busted.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
One and a half days till finals start
I slept half the day away trying to let everything set in and recharge. Unfortunately that means I probably wont be able to go to sleep tonight and therefore not tomorrow night either. So tonight I will take a Tylenol pm or some heavy narcotic such as Nyquil (the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, how the hell did I wake up on my kitchen floor after drinking this magic elixir medicine).
I swear to god this is the truth. This is actually what the back of the card says:
Emmanuel Law in a flash Real Property Card number 168
REMEMBERING JOING TENANCY
“To remember this: Keep in mind that “joint" in drug parlance, is a marijuana cigarette.
Mental Picture: Imagine 3 people you know sitting around in a circle passing a “joint” from one to the other. One takes a puff and passes it to another, who in turn does the same thing to the third, and so on. The “joint” passes to the other two, as in joint tenenacy = right of survivorship in the other tenants”
How, exactly did that one slip through?
I swear to god this is the truth. This is actually what the back of the card says:
Emmanuel Law in a flash Real Property Card number 168
REMEMBERING JOING TENANCY
“To remember this: Keep in mind that “joint" in drug parlance, is a marijuana cigarette.
Mental Picture: Imagine 3 people you know sitting around in a circle passing a “joint” from one to the other. One takes a puff and passes it to another, who in turn does the same thing to the third, and so on. The “joint” passes to the other two, as in joint tenenacy = right of survivorship in the other tenants”
How, exactly did that one slip through?
Friday, December 01, 2006
Sleep
I got to sleep last night. YEA!!!!
9 hours.
But now I feel like I missed some valuable study time. LOL
I gota quit blogging and get to the library.
9 hours.
But now I feel like I missed some valuable study time. LOL
I gota quit blogging and get to the library.
Thanks Manda
My Professor sent out an email saying that she forgot to give us an explanation of a term that we would need for the test.
It said:
"Carnal knowledge" means the penetration of the female sex organ by the male sex organ.
My friend Amanda sent me her notes. Her explanation was just a little different:
“Carnal knowledge” = penetration of bagina by pee pee.
I love me some Manda. The only girl I know that decided her keyboard was way too tacky with all of those silly numbers and letter and decided to put happy bunny stickers on them instead. Her and her hubby took me to the Warped Tour in Atlanta this past summer (and bought my ticket). They rock!
It said:
"Carnal knowledge" means the penetration of the female sex organ by the male sex organ.
My friend Amanda sent me her notes. Her explanation was just a little different:
“Carnal knowledge” = penetration of bagina by pee pee.
I love me some Manda. The only girl I know that decided her keyboard was way too tacky with all of those silly numbers and letter and decided to put happy bunny stickers on them instead. Her and her hubby took me to the Warped Tour in Atlanta this past summer (and bought my ticket). They rock!
The Monkey fish frog Controversy
Mr. Garrison explains evolution: Yes, it is funny. Yes, you want to watch it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFjfc2M7gRY
The next time we have to come up with a stupid team name for something I am absolutely insisting on “The Monkey Fish Frogs”.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFjfc2M7gRY
The next time we have to come up with a stupid team name for something I am absolutely insisting on “The Monkey Fish Frogs”.
Congrats to my peeps
Coming from a small podunk town in the middle of nowhere I certainly appreciate the way it feels to be under rated, unexpected, and unwanted. Our trial team did really well against some top notch schools a few weeks ago (Which is extra cool because our school is newly accredited and for the most part not all that well respected because of that. TRANSLATION: Underdog). I always assumed that folks on these teams were like most of the crowd of gunners. To my pleasant surprise all of these folks are top notch, really nice, and pretty cool.
The following email was sent by one of our professors. I don’t know if they would want their names on my blog, so I removed them:
During the second week of November, H, G, N, & R represented the law school in the Buffalo/Niagara Mock Trial Invitational in Buffalo, New York. This was the largest trial competition in the nation with forty schools competing at one location. After the first two preliminary rounds only 10 of the 40 schools were still undefeated. We were one of the ten. Our defense team H & G defeated Chicago-Kent in an excellent trial with both teams scoring extremely high. The next morning our plaintiff team of N & R defeated St. Mary's in another high scoring affair. Unfortunately we lost a split decision in the third round and finished the preliminary round tied for eighth place with Temple, Cumberland, Michigan State, Illinois, Georgia State, Georgia and the two teams we had already defeated Chicago-Kent and St. Mary's. Through a complicated matrix of tiebreakers that I would happy to explain to anyone after exams, our team was left out of the advancing cut. (We fell just behind the University of Georgia - a team that was swept by the same Chicago team we defeated.)
The following email was sent by one of our professors. I don’t know if they would want their names on my blog, so I removed them:
During the second week of November, H, G, N, & R represented the law school in the Buffalo/Niagara Mock Trial Invitational in Buffalo, New York. This was the largest trial competition in the nation with forty schools competing at one location. After the first two preliminary rounds only 10 of the 40 schools were still undefeated. We were one of the ten. Our defense team H & G defeated Chicago-Kent in an excellent trial with both teams scoring extremely high. The next morning our plaintiff team of N & R defeated St. Mary's in another high scoring affair. Unfortunately we lost a split decision in the third round and finished the preliminary round tied for eighth place with Temple, Cumberland, Michigan State, Illinois, Georgia State, Georgia and the two teams we had already defeated Chicago-Kent and St. Mary's. Through a complicated matrix of tiebreakers that I would happy to explain to anyone after exams, our team was left out of the advancing cut. (We fell just behind the University of Georgia - a team that was swept by the same Chicago team we defeated.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
