Last weekend (actually weekend before last – this last weekend I was busy getting over the cold that had flared back up) I attended the birthday party for a guy in my law school.
Upon arrival in the historic section of Montgomery I found the nice little house where I was supposed to be. I went into the house and didn’t see a single person that I knew. Lots of people from all walks of life. The crowd was eclectic. (that is another big word that means I didn’t know anybody there).
I finally found someone who pointed me toward the group of law students that had congregated on the back deck. If you don’t already know, Law school sucks most of the social skills out of you and you only have stuff in common with other law students. It should also be noted that nothing (and I mean nothing) so takes over your mind that you think of nothing else as the study of the law. So much so that you may revert back to childhood behavior in order to cope. Here in lies the only reasoning that I can possibly think of that explains my actions earlier last semester.
I’ll explain.
I found my law school buddies and sat down to chat.
Somewhere around the third beverage, a friend piped up.
(Warning – bathroom humor)
Friend: “I caught my self doing that thing.”
Me: “What thing?”
Friend: “I had to pee and caught my self singing. “
Me: “Singing what?”
Friend: “That song you did that day.”
Everybody: Laughing
Me: “What song?”
Everybody: More laughter
Friend: “One day you were in hurry in the bathroom and were standing there singing “Urine, Urine, Urrriiiiiiiine” ”
Note: this sounds incredibly like “you’re in, you’re in, youuuuuuuur iiiiiin”
Everybody: Laughing uncontrollably
Chick friend: “I was driving home over the holidays and had to go in a gas station but couldn’t go. I caught myself singing “Urine, Urine, Urrrriiiine” ”
Me looking shameful: “Dang, the things you find out about yourself from people you know.”
Chick friend: “You didn’t know that everybody knew about that? Everybody knows about that. I even know about it and I’m a girl.”
Awkward silence
Me, looking at the house full of people that don’t know me: “I think I’ll go mingle.”
Some people sing in the shower. Apparently I sing while I pee.
You learn something new everyday. Sometimes you learn something new about yourself.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Posts have been edited
After realizing the growing popularity of this blog (one of my professors saw it today) I have elected to go back and take the profanity out of my posts.
Due in part to our popular culture but mostly to the fact that I spent several years in the Marine Corps, my ability to curse is prolific. It really can be quite creative. I can fit in cuss words where most people would give up and use Standard English.
So from here on out profanity will be used only for extreme instances.
I will insert the comic book version “#@$%^&*” in their place or use abbreviations.
It doesn’t really matter. The stuff is still just as funny. But I just decided that I would rather not have to explain to the state bar character and fitness committee why I felt the need to post obscene language.
Due in part to our popular culture but mostly to the fact that I spent several years in the Marine Corps, my ability to curse is prolific. It really can be quite creative. I can fit in cuss words where most people would give up and use Standard English.
So from here on out profanity will be used only for extreme instances.
I will insert the comic book version “#@$%^&*” in their place or use abbreviations.
It doesn’t really matter. The stuff is still just as funny. But I just decided that I would rather not have to explain to the state bar character and fitness committee why I felt the need to post obscene language.
Monday, January 22, 2007
The glass eye
When I was a kid I got a BB gun for Christmas.
With the BB gun came the usual warning about safety and such.
My mother didn’t use the phrase “You’ll shoot your eye out.”
No way man.
She had Reni Goss as her reference.
Reni Goss was a kid a couple of years older than us. He was playing with a BB gun in the basement of his house. A BB ricochet hit him in the eye. It put his eye out.
He had a glass eye but sometimes wore a big black eye patch. When he did that, every little kid would shrivel in fear as he approached. The very thought of Reni Goss’s big glass eye and empty eye socket sent shivers down my spine.
We always wondered why he was wearing the patch. I told my cousin one time that the glass eye was hurting him so he took it out and laid it on the table. It rolled off the table and the dog had eaten it. I told him that they were waiting on it to pass through the dog’s system so he could wash it off and put it back in. My cousin spent a week poking through every pile of dog poop in the neighborhood with a stick looking for the glass eye. But I think that if I put a white marble in some wet dog poo and showed it to him he would have gone screaming into the night and never been right again. It was a close call. I almost sent my cousin to 10 years of therapy.
It was kind of mean but that is what kids do. Kind of like convincing my little sister that she was adopted. Although, in retrospect it may have been a little much to tell her that she wasn’t getting any Christmas presents from our folks because her real family was coming to get her and take her back to work on their pig farm.
All of the above material is true and has not been embellished upon. To prove my point I say this:
To this very day if my cousin steps in dog poo he looks cautiously to make sure that he doesn’t have a glass eye stuck to his shoe. And every year I look at my little sister on Christmas Eve and ask her the same question. “Is your real family coming to get you this year?”
I did not tell my parents of these events until much later in life for fear that it would be put on my “permanent record”.
Ah, childhood. What a marvelous way to mess up the rest of your life.
This post has been edited. I originally posted that they guy's name was Scott and not Reni Goss. I got an email from a reader that reminded me that it was Reni Goss and not Scott. Scott was Reni's little brother. Thanks to my loyal readers. But that just goes to show you, I didn't make it up.
With the BB gun came the usual warning about safety and such.
My mother didn’t use the phrase “You’ll shoot your eye out.”
No way man.
She had Reni Goss as her reference.
Reni Goss was a kid a couple of years older than us. He was playing with a BB gun in the basement of his house. A BB ricochet hit him in the eye. It put his eye out.
He had a glass eye but sometimes wore a big black eye patch. When he did that, every little kid would shrivel in fear as he approached. The very thought of Reni Goss’s big glass eye and empty eye socket sent shivers down my spine.
We always wondered why he was wearing the patch. I told my cousin one time that the glass eye was hurting him so he took it out and laid it on the table. It rolled off the table and the dog had eaten it. I told him that they were waiting on it to pass through the dog’s system so he could wash it off and put it back in. My cousin spent a week poking through every pile of dog poop in the neighborhood with a stick looking for the glass eye. But I think that if I put a white marble in some wet dog poo and showed it to him he would have gone screaming into the night and never been right again. It was a close call. I almost sent my cousin to 10 years of therapy.
It was kind of mean but that is what kids do. Kind of like convincing my little sister that she was adopted. Although, in retrospect it may have been a little much to tell her that she wasn’t getting any Christmas presents from our folks because her real family was coming to get her and take her back to work on their pig farm.
All of the above material is true and has not been embellished upon. To prove my point I say this:
To this very day if my cousin steps in dog poo he looks cautiously to make sure that he doesn’t have a glass eye stuck to his shoe. And every year I look at my little sister on Christmas Eve and ask her the same question. “Is your real family coming to get you this year?”
I did not tell my parents of these events until much later in life for fear that it would be put on my “permanent record”.
Ah, childhood. What a marvelous way to mess up the rest of your life.
This post has been edited. I originally posted that they guy's name was Scott and not Reni Goss. I got an email from a reader that reminded me that it was Reni Goss and not Scott. Scott was Reni's little brother. Thanks to my loyal readers. But that just goes to show you, I didn't make it up.
Friday, January 19, 2007
Snow
I pray for snow. Not now, but sometime between now and spring break.
I mean seriously. Come on!
You lazy government f*&%ers can’t give us a holiday other than Valentines Day from now till almost summer? This is the greyest gloomiest time of the entire year. And without a break! From MLK day through like forever – there is no holiday. It is just straight drudgery for what seems like an eternity. The only crappy holiday in between is Valentines Day. Valentines Day sucks. It is a total chick holiday that involves expensive flowers, food, and chocolate. I generally find a way to be single on this holiday. Every good place to eat is booked solid and every half way good affordable place to eat is packed with redneck couples who are out for their twice annual date. The other one is their anniversary. Flowers go for many times their actual value. Buy a dozen roses now for $15 - $25. Wait until Valentines Day – they go for $80 minimum if you can find them.
Snow is my salvation. Alabama (especially S. AL) is not prepared by any stretch of the imagination for snow of any kind.
One time when I was a kid we had a big ice storm. The local cops actually went to the store and bought a couple of boxes of ice cream salt and spread it around the only intersection that we had in town after somebody had a wreck on the ice. We have no snow plows, no deicers, no sand spreading trucks, no nothing.
Plus, the snow we get is not really snow at all. It is mainly ice and a couple of flurries that make it look kind of white. Snow balls here are actually deadly ice balls that hurt like hell if you get hit with one. We rarely get snow. Kids here generally use pine cones instead. The big ones are hard to throw. But the little ones are dense and zing along quite well. Plus they leave a big red welt on the side of your face if you get hit. This ends the “I got you!”, “You did not!” argument fairly quickly. However it quickly escalates into BB gun wars if you don’t reach some sort of truce before lunch. It actually is all fun and games until somebody gets and eye put out. Which reminds me of a story – but we will get back to that later.
Back to the snow.
If it snows then school gets canceled. It will be canceled for a couple of days if we get a good ice / snow storm. I have a four wheel drive truck so a quick supply run is no problem. The only problem is that when a big storm is coming people go buy up all the milk and bread. What is the deal with that? “Hey a big storm is coming. You better get to the store before all the milk and bread is gone.” WTF – I am heading straight for the beer isle before all of THAT is gone.
Dear Old Man Winter,
Please give us some snow. Come on snow. Leave us stranded at home. And please do so on a weekday. Preferably on say a Wednesday evening through say……. Let’s say Friday around noon. Oh, and if you could do it on Valentines Day as well, I would appreciate it.
Best wishes to your mom Mother Nature as well as your bother The Heat Mizer “Mr. 100 Degrees”.
Best Wishes,
Jake
ps
I would like to applogize for calling you "Old blue balls" when I was a kid. I did not realize that it was because you are icy cold all the time. I inititially thought it had something to do with you not exactly being too smooth with the ladies. My bad.
I mean seriously. Come on!
You lazy government f*&%ers can’t give us a holiday other than Valentines Day from now till almost summer? This is the greyest gloomiest time of the entire year. And without a break! From MLK day through like forever – there is no holiday. It is just straight drudgery for what seems like an eternity. The only crappy holiday in between is Valentines Day. Valentines Day sucks. It is a total chick holiday that involves expensive flowers, food, and chocolate. I generally find a way to be single on this holiday. Every good place to eat is booked solid and every half way good affordable place to eat is packed with redneck couples who are out for their twice annual date. The other one is their anniversary. Flowers go for many times their actual value. Buy a dozen roses now for $15 - $25. Wait until Valentines Day – they go for $80 minimum if you can find them.
Snow is my salvation. Alabama (especially S. AL) is not prepared by any stretch of the imagination for snow of any kind.
One time when I was a kid we had a big ice storm. The local cops actually went to the store and bought a couple of boxes of ice cream salt and spread it around the only intersection that we had in town after somebody had a wreck on the ice. We have no snow plows, no deicers, no sand spreading trucks, no nothing.
Plus, the snow we get is not really snow at all. It is mainly ice and a couple of flurries that make it look kind of white. Snow balls here are actually deadly ice balls that hurt like hell if you get hit with one. We rarely get snow. Kids here generally use pine cones instead. The big ones are hard to throw. But the little ones are dense and zing along quite well. Plus they leave a big red welt on the side of your face if you get hit. This ends the “I got you!”, “You did not!” argument fairly quickly. However it quickly escalates into BB gun wars if you don’t reach some sort of truce before lunch. It actually is all fun and games until somebody gets and eye put out. Which reminds me of a story – but we will get back to that later.
Back to the snow.
If it snows then school gets canceled. It will be canceled for a couple of days if we get a good ice / snow storm. I have a four wheel drive truck so a quick supply run is no problem. The only problem is that when a big storm is coming people go buy up all the milk and bread. What is the deal with that? “Hey a big storm is coming. You better get to the store before all the milk and bread is gone.” WTF – I am heading straight for the beer isle before all of THAT is gone.
Dear Old Man Winter,
Please give us some snow. Come on snow. Leave us stranded at home. And please do so on a weekday. Preferably on say a Wednesday evening through say……. Let’s say Friday around noon. Oh, and if you could do it on Valentines Day as well, I would appreciate it.
Best wishes to your mom Mother Nature as well as your bother The Heat Mizer “Mr. 100 Degrees”.
Best Wishes,
Jake
ps
I would like to applogize for calling you "Old blue balls" when I was a kid. I did not realize that it was because you are icy cold all the time. I inititially thought it had something to do with you not exactly being too smooth with the ladies. My bad.
I was going to spend some time writing a nice long blog for ya.
But instead I think I am going to go have a life for a little while. My life will consist of going to Wal-mart.
Don’t judge me. You know everybody needs a little Wal-Mart fix every now and again.
Where else can you buy candles, rugs, shotgun shells, food, dishwashing detergent, toothpaste, workout gloves, deodorant, and light bulbs all in one spot?
Did you notice I am making a list?
Did you notice the shotgun shells?
Quit freaking out! It is still hunting season and just because you think you can make tofu that tastes like real meat and come from a place that the only thing people use guns for is to shoot at each other doesn’t mean the rest of the world lives that way. Besides that, the bill of rights says I can.
I never made it to Wal-Mart. I took a nap instead.
But instead I think I am going to go have a life for a little while. My life will consist of going to Wal-mart.
Don’t judge me. You know everybody needs a little Wal-Mart fix every now and again.
Where else can you buy candles, rugs, shotgun shells, food, dishwashing detergent, toothpaste, workout gloves, deodorant, and light bulbs all in one spot?
Did you notice I am making a list?
Did you notice the shotgun shells?
Quit freaking out! It is still hunting season and just because you think you can make tofu that tastes like real meat and come from a place that the only thing people use guns for is to shoot at each other doesn’t mean the rest of the world lives that way. Besides that, the bill of rights says I can.
I never made it to Wal-Mart. I took a nap instead.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Governmental lip service or why Grandad's corn squeezin's can't be bought
Several years ago I bought a Ford Ranger Pickup that could run on unleaded gasoline or ethanol (known as E-85) or any mixture of the two fuels. E-85 is a fuel made from corn. It is cheaper than gasoline but does not get as good a gas mileage. I believe that it also less hazardous to the environment. It is pretty much a clean version of moonshine. Apparently Ford got some kind of deal from the government for making a bunch of alternative fuel vehicles. Most people will never run E85 in their vehicle even though it is manufactured to higher tolerances in order to burn the fuel.
So I got curious. The government is all about alternative fuels and saving the environment. I looked at where I could buy E85 – I thought I might give it a shot. I like to save money. And doing good stuff for the environment is always good.
It sounds like a really good idea. There is only one problem. There is not one single place in the entire state that sells E85 to the public. One city has a private pump that they run their vehicles on. The US govt. claims that there are several places in the planning stage. Still, none of these plan on selling to the public.
The closest place to buy E85 is in another state and exactly one tank full of fuel away. I could fill up here. Drive there, fill my tank up with E85, and then drive back. Just before I get home, I could stop and fill up again. Sounds like fun doesn’t it?
Just one more example of how your government evades doing the thing they told you they were doing, all the while patting them selves on the back for doing such a good job for you.
So I got curious. The government is all about alternative fuels and saving the environment. I looked at where I could buy E85 – I thought I might give it a shot. I like to save money. And doing good stuff for the environment is always good.
It sounds like a really good idea. There is only one problem. There is not one single place in the entire state that sells E85 to the public. One city has a private pump that they run their vehicles on. The US govt. claims that there are several places in the planning stage. Still, none of these plan on selling to the public.
The closest place to buy E85 is in another state and exactly one tank full of fuel away. I could fill up here. Drive there, fill my tank up with E85, and then drive back. Just before I get home, I could stop and fill up again. Sounds like fun doesn’t it?
Just one more example of how your government evades doing the thing they told you they were doing, all the while patting them selves on the back for doing such a good job for you.
My old room mate wasn’t in class so I called to see where he was. He had some problems with a leaky water heater. He had a plumber looking at it.
Me: Where is it leaking from?
Brent: Around the pipe at the top of the tank. It is rusted
Me: You don’t need a plumber for that. Dude, that’s not hard. We can fix the leak pretty quick or even replace the entire tank in an hour with right parts if we need to. Where is it at anyway? Is it in a closet?”
Brent: It’s in the attic
Me: Its where?
Brent: It’s in the attic.
Me: Sounds like you need a plumber.
Me: Where is it leaking from?
Brent: Around the pipe at the top of the tank. It is rusted
Me: You don’t need a plumber for that. Dude, that’s not hard. We can fix the leak pretty quick or even replace the entire tank in an hour with right parts if we need to. Where is it at anyway? Is it in a closet?”
Brent: It’s in the attic
Me: Its where?
Brent: It’s in the attic.
Me: Sounds like you need a plumber.
Friday, January 05, 2007
Sampson - Expectations
This is Sampson, my buddy's dog (in my truck with the ducks he retrieved). We went duck hunting last weekend. We were wading around before daylight in the swamp talking about how he has aged. "Maybe he just doesn't have the drive that used to have" Someone said.
Aprox 9 am Saturday Morning
A small group of ducks comes over. They flare at the last second because they have been shot at over decoys from Canada all the way here. We hit the calls. They turn back and flare again. One more time and they come in. Not low and landing but flying by.
We shoot.
One falls. One flares, and one is racing down the water to get away. I take a good bead on him and pull the trigger. He drops a little but sails on down to the end of the small lake we are on.
The dog retrieves the downed duck and I left to go chase down the one that may have landed on the other end of the lake. It is at this time that my other buddy falls into the water, dropping his gun into the foot deep muck at the bottom. This may not seem that funny to you. But the water wasn’t that deep. He was safe but making funny noises as he attempted to stand up.
Upon retrieving the duck, Sampson takes off after me. I am almost to the end of lake when Sampson gets there. He moves in to the water and starts towards some reeds.
He is making a lot of splashing sound when a duck suddenly jumps up from in front of me and attempts to get away. I blasted him and he fell. Sampson is still jumping around on the other side of the reeds.
“Here is the duck, you stupid dog. Come get it.” Sampson is still jumping around in the reeds and I can barely see him but I can hear all the commotion he is making. I figured that the duck landed over there and had swam out. I figured that Sampson was just smelling him on the water and running around looking for him.
So I start towards the downed duck and am about to pick him up when Sampson scares the duck that I first shot out of cover of the reeds and he his hurt so he only flies a few feet and sets down.
I prepare to fire on him but at that instant Sampson comes over the top of the reeds and is too close for me to fire. The duck makes one quick powerful stroke with his wings that lift him 3 feet off the water. He is about to fly away when Sampson leaps into the air and catches the duck in his mouth.
Awesome!
My dad always taught me to not waste game. And there is even state law that says that hunters must make reasonable efforts to bring into their possession downed game.
(For you city folks Game being a dead animal)
That duck was wounded and would have flown and short distance to the river and died. Sampson took care of that.
We shoot.
One falls. One flares, and one is racing down the water to get away. I take a good bead on him and pull the trigger. He drops a little but sails on down to the end of the small lake we are on.
The dog retrieves the downed duck and I left to go chase down the one that may have landed on the other end of the lake. It is at this time that my other buddy falls into the water, dropping his gun into the foot deep muck at the bottom. This may not seem that funny to you. But the water wasn’t that deep. He was safe but making funny noises as he attempted to stand up.
Upon retrieving the duck, Sampson takes off after me. I am almost to the end of lake when Sampson gets there. He moves in to the water and starts towards some reeds.
He is making a lot of splashing sound when a duck suddenly jumps up from in front of me and attempts to get away. I blasted him and he fell. Sampson is still jumping around on the other side of the reeds.
“Here is the duck, you stupid dog. Come get it.” Sampson is still jumping around in the reeds and I can barely see him but I can hear all the commotion he is making. I figured that the duck landed over there and had swam out. I figured that Sampson was just smelling him on the water and running around looking for him.
So I start towards the downed duck and am about to pick him up when Sampson scares the duck that I first shot out of cover of the reeds and he his hurt so he only flies a few feet and sets down.
I prepare to fire on him but at that instant Sampson comes over the top of the reeds and is too close for me to fire. The duck makes one quick powerful stroke with his wings that lift him 3 feet off the water. He is about to fly away when Sampson leaps into the air and catches the duck in his mouth.
Awesome!
My dad always taught me to not waste game. And there is even state law that says that hunters must make reasonable efforts to bring into their possession downed game.
(For you city folks Game being a dead animal)
That duck was wounded and would have flown and short distance to the river and died. Sampson took care of that.
I guess the point of this story, even if you are not a fan of duck hunting or even hunting in general –
Is this – Expectations are never correct. When you expect something to be great, it almost never is. When you expect little and something exceeds your expectations you are surprised. Either way, your expectations usually have little to so with the real outcome of events.
Some things just have a built in desire to do certain things. Retrievers retrieve. That is the way God made them.
I have a desire to be better than I am. I just hope that my expectations are somewhat close to the real outcome
Is this – Expectations are never correct. When you expect something to be great, it almost never is. When you expect little and something exceeds your expectations you are surprised. Either way, your expectations usually have little to so with the real outcome of events.
Some things just have a built in desire to do certain things. Retrievers retrieve. That is the way God made them.
I have a desire to be better than I am. I just hope that my expectations are somewhat close to the real outcome
Reading assignments Rant
School starts back early Monday morning. This is good and bad in different ways. It is bad because nobody wants to subject themselves to the punishment of law school again so soon. It is good because every semester done is a semester done. And the sooner we start, the sooner we finish.
They posted the first reading assignments today.
Yes, Friday afternoon at 5:40pm I got an email with tons of reading assignments.
You a$#&*^$# couldn’t send them any earlier? For goodness sake! We have been out of school for nearly a month and you send the reading assignments the Friday night before class starts.
That is just lazy and not thinking about your students!
They posted the first reading assignments today.
Yes, Friday afternoon at 5:40pm I got an email with tons of reading assignments.
You a$#&*^$# couldn’t send them any earlier? For goodness sake! We have been out of school for nearly a month and you send the reading assignments the Friday night before class starts.
That is just lazy and not thinking about your students!
"Saban is great. I just blew a .08"
So, the University of Alabama now finally has a head coach. He was heartily received at the airport. One eager fan named Colette Connell was so excited that she ran up and hugged and kissed him. She even had her own cheer.
“Praise the Lord, God is so good, Nick is now in the Bama hood."
It made the local news.
Unfortunaltely so did the picuture of her (still in her team jersey) posing for her DUI mugshot 3 hours later. Now it is all over the internet.
http://igottarant.com/showthread.php?t=23941
I may have accidentally emailed it to The smoking gun.
“Praise the Lord, God is so good, Nick is now in the Bama hood."
It made the local news.
Unfortunaltely so did the picuture of her (still in her team jersey) posing for her DUI mugshot 3 hours later. Now it is all over the internet.
http://igottarant.com/showthread.php?t=23941
I may have accidentally emailed it to The smoking gun.
Books
Books for 2 classes (to be used only one semester) = $379.00 .
Damn, I hate the bookstore. It is such a rip off! I swear everytime that I will buy my books online and I always end up waiting too late.
My buddy wanted to go out tonight but I am still feeling a bit under the weather.
He called while ago. He spent $450.00. Now he doesn't want to go out either.
I guess we had better stock up on ramen noodles and start huffing paint, because we cant afford food or beer. ;-)
Damn, I hate the bookstore. It is such a rip off! I swear everytime that I will buy my books online and I always end up waiting too late.
My buddy wanted to go out tonight but I am still feeling a bit under the weather.
He called while ago. He spent $450.00. Now he doesn't want to go out either.
I guess we had better stock up on ramen noodles and start huffing paint, because we cant afford food or beer. ;-)
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
New Year's trip
My parents gave me some money for Christmas. Which was nice, considering my perpetual state of brokness.
I decide to put it in my savings account. I carry the check to the drive through where they promptly (5 minutes of sitting at the window) tell me that they will put a hold on it until the check clears. “No problem, it is going into savings after all.”
I drove up to North Alabama to do some duck hunting and stay with some friends. When I got there, their 6 year old had drew me a picture on that big 1st grade paper with great big lines on it. That was kind of nice. I think I am going to put it up on the fridge.
We had a nice couple of days of hunting and did really well. The last day I was there, we had a surprise birthday party for one of my friends. He didn’t suspect a thing.
When I left, my buddy’s little boy cried because he didn’t want me to leave. It did my heart good to know that someone wants me to be around not because they are my family or friends, but instead just because they like me. Plus, I have always thought that kids are a pretty good judge of character. They can see through the B.S. and will call you on it because they don’t know any better.
Anyway, I am driving back from my duck hunting trip and notice the fuel light is on. I pull into the next available exit and go looking for an ATM. I need to see how much is in my checking account and transfer some money.
After riding around for a good 15 minutes I spot a bank. The checking account was considerably low, as I already knew. It was down to $25. However the savings account gave me a negative balance. OK – that is impossible. First of all I had money in there prior to putting in the check.
Apparently my lovely bank has decided to not only put a hold on my check, but also to put a hold on my entire savings account balance. WTF!!!!
I am in the middle of no where and riding on fumes with only $25 in my checking and no cash to speak of.
I emptied out my checking account to get enough gas to make it to my folks house. Luckily that was enough, other wise I would have had to beg from strangers or call for someone to drive and come get me. By the time I made it back to my parents I had a sore throat. My mom loaned me some money for gas.
New Year’s was nice even though I felt kind of bad. I spent it with my family. We stayed up late and watched the ball drop. We got up the next day and watched some football, repaired some fencing and chased some farm animals into the recently repaired fence. I drove through Birmingham to see a friend and then back to the Gump.
Not long after arriving home I realized that I was coming down with something serious. By this morning I was miserable. But I could not go to the Dr.
Remember – I have no funds available. So I go to the bank and after 20 minutes they sort it out and apologize. I transferred $200 and got some cash.
At the Dr.’s office I find out that I have a case of pneumonia. After the Dr.’s office fee and $260 worth of medication from CVS, I am cleaned out once again.
I decide to put it in my savings account. I carry the check to the drive through where they promptly (5 minutes of sitting at the window) tell me that they will put a hold on it until the check clears. “No problem, it is going into savings after all.”
I drove up to North Alabama to do some duck hunting and stay with some friends. When I got there, their 6 year old had drew me a picture on that big 1st grade paper with great big lines on it. That was kind of nice. I think I am going to put it up on the fridge.
We had a nice couple of days of hunting and did really well. The last day I was there, we had a surprise birthday party for one of my friends. He didn’t suspect a thing.
When I left, my buddy’s little boy cried because he didn’t want me to leave. It did my heart good to know that someone wants me to be around not because they are my family or friends, but instead just because they like me. Plus, I have always thought that kids are a pretty good judge of character. They can see through the B.S. and will call you on it because they don’t know any better.
Anyway, I am driving back from my duck hunting trip and notice the fuel light is on. I pull into the next available exit and go looking for an ATM. I need to see how much is in my checking account and transfer some money.
After riding around for a good 15 minutes I spot a bank. The checking account was considerably low, as I already knew. It was down to $25. However the savings account gave me a negative balance. OK – that is impossible. First of all I had money in there prior to putting in the check.
Apparently my lovely bank has decided to not only put a hold on my check, but also to put a hold on my entire savings account balance. WTF!!!!
I am in the middle of no where and riding on fumes with only $25 in my checking and no cash to speak of.
I emptied out my checking account to get enough gas to make it to my folks house. Luckily that was enough, other wise I would have had to beg from strangers or call for someone to drive and come get me. By the time I made it back to my parents I had a sore throat. My mom loaned me some money for gas.
New Year’s was nice even though I felt kind of bad. I spent it with my family. We stayed up late and watched the ball drop. We got up the next day and watched some football, repaired some fencing and chased some farm animals into the recently repaired fence. I drove through Birmingham to see a friend and then back to the Gump.
Not long after arriving home I realized that I was coming down with something serious. By this morning I was miserable. But I could not go to the Dr.
Remember – I have no funds available. So I go to the bank and after 20 minutes they sort it out and apologize. I transferred $200 and got some cash.
At the Dr.’s office I find out that I have a case of pneumonia. After the Dr.’s office fee and $260 worth of medication from CVS, I am cleaned out once again.
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