Jake has picked up a new habit. A very unsightly and unwelcome habit.
Humping.
He has humped a stuffed bear animal a few times over the past week or two. And I saw him humping the neighbor boy dog’s head. I laughed it off.
Nothing to worry about right.
Or so I thought.
Today Crystal was busy putting together the new house and looked up just in time to see Jake playing a little rough with the neighbor kid.
And then he humped him.
She stopped him. She whipped him and yelled at him.
Then he humped the kid again…
And then he ate the kid’s pop tart.
How humiliating. I think the kid will probably be in some sort of therapy for some time.
So…
Jake has now committed a tort and may possibly have to register as a sex offender.
I thought that when Crystal caught him running through the house with a pair of panties that it was just because he got into the laundry that needed to be folded.
It hindsight it may have been a warning sign.
Let me get this straight. My dog has now shown propensity to be a homosexual pedophilic cross dressing rapist. And apparently a repeat offender.
Not good.
What’s next? The future looks bleak. Jake hanging out at the local fire hydrant looking for a pick up. Bailing him out of the pound when the gay dog club gets raided. Puppy Porn. Doing tricks for a bone (yes, even hick southern law students know about the use of the double entendre).
This whole humping thing has got to come to a very quick halt or Crystal’s neighbors are going to shoot the dog.
I was wondering if neutering him would stop the behavior but when I tried looking it up on the internet all I got were links to discussion board websites. Each one praised the values of spaying and neutering (mainly these were lengthy diatribes on keeping the unwanted pet population down).
Look, I don’t really care what someone’s opinion is. I want hard scientific data with percentages and graphs. Is neutering the animal going to keep this from occurring, or is it too late? If the habit is already formed why would I spend a bunch of money on getting him fixed?
What little information I did find was of little help and was reprinted again and again as if the authors of the websites had written it themselves. In actuality they had copied an article and plagiarized it. Being a law student I know that they need to at least cite where it came from. But then again nobody is checking their work for typographical errors or if it follows “Blue Book” guidelines. (Although occasionally some jerk will send an email letting me know about one of mine.)
Well, we still don’t know if getting Jake fixed will stop him from humping.
Humping.
He has humped a stuffed bear animal a few times over the past week or two. And I saw him humping the neighbor boy dog’s head. I laughed it off.
Nothing to worry about right.
Or so I thought.
Today Crystal was busy putting together the new house and looked up just in time to see Jake playing a little rough with the neighbor kid.
And then he humped him.
She stopped him. She whipped him and yelled at him.
Then he humped the kid again…
And then he ate the kid’s pop tart.
How humiliating. I think the kid will probably be in some sort of therapy for some time.
So…
Jake has now committed a tort and may possibly have to register as a sex offender.
I thought that when Crystal caught him running through the house with a pair of panties that it was just because he got into the laundry that needed to be folded.
It hindsight it may have been a warning sign.
Let me get this straight. My dog has now shown propensity to be a homosexual pedophilic cross dressing rapist. And apparently a repeat offender.
Not good.
What’s next? The future looks bleak. Jake hanging out at the local fire hydrant looking for a pick up. Bailing him out of the pound when the gay dog club gets raided. Puppy Porn. Doing tricks for a bone (yes, even hick southern law students know about the use of the double entendre).
This whole humping thing has got to come to a very quick halt or Crystal’s neighbors are going to shoot the dog.
I was wondering if neutering him would stop the behavior but when I tried looking it up on the internet all I got were links to discussion board websites. Each one praised the values of spaying and neutering (mainly these were lengthy diatribes on keeping the unwanted pet population down).
Look, I don’t really care what someone’s opinion is. I want hard scientific data with percentages and graphs. Is neutering the animal going to keep this from occurring, or is it too late? If the habit is already formed why would I spend a bunch of money on getting him fixed?
What little information I did find was of little help and was reprinted again and again as if the authors of the websites had written it themselves. In actuality they had copied an article and plagiarized it. Being a law student I know that they need to at least cite where it came from. But then again nobody is checking their work for typographical errors or if it follows “Blue Book” guidelines. (Although occasionally some jerk will send an email letting me know about one of mine.)
Well, we still don’t know if getting Jake fixed will stop him from humping.
So what did we learn today?
1. Jake is a sex crime offender.
2. The internet can be a place with more useless self repeating drivel then useful information. And no one cites where they get their information.
3. If you are a kid with a dog with a propensity for humping coming at ya – Run! And at all costs…
Protect your pop tart.
1. Jake is a sex crime offender.
2. The internet can be a place with more useless self repeating drivel then useful information. And no one cites where they get their information.
3. If you are a kid with a dog with a propensity for humping coming at ya – Run! And at all costs…
Protect your pop tart.
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