The Library Stapler

I had few minutes and decided to check my email. I had a bunch of updates from Facebook, so I decided to log on and approve a bunch of friends that had requested to be added. One of them had posted the following that I had written a while back while working in the law school library and was pissed off at the idiots who kept messing up the staplers that we had around the desk. Thanks for posting this Mary.

I found something in my desk today. It was a typed up piece of wisdom from a prior library student worker on the care and feeding of staplers. This is solely his work. I am merely passing it along for the giggles. - Mary
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This stapler is now in perfect mechanical condition. It works just fine. Please do not abuse the stapler. If you are stoned or just stupid, please refrain from using the stapler. This is for your own safety as well as the convenience of others.

If you are unable to reload the stapler due to lack of opposable thumbs or just plain ignorance, please ask for assistance.

Remember: This is just an ordinary stapler, not a rocket powered attaching device. It will NOT staple together half a ream of paper.

Unlike a plowing mule, hitting it really hard will not make the stapler work harder to accomplish your goal. Stapling imaginary paper will only clog the stapler because there is nowhere for the bent staple to go. Please staple your imaginary paper with an imaginary stapler. In other words: Do Not Play With The Stapler.
Stapler hide-and-go-seek may sound like a fun game but it is not. Place the stapler back where you found it. Which is right here.