The Library Stapler

I had few minutes and decided to check my email. I had a bunch of updates from Facebook, so I decided to log on and approve a bunch of friends that had requested to be added. One of them had posted the following that I had written a while back while working in the law school library and was pissed off at the idiots who kept messing up the staplers that we had around the desk. Thanks for posting this Mary.

I found something in my desk today. It was a typed up piece of wisdom from a prior library student worker on the care and feeding of staplers. This is solely his work. I am merely passing it along for the giggles. - Mary
------------------------------
This stapler is now in perfect mechanical condition. It works just fine. Please do not abuse the stapler. If you are stoned or just stupid, please refrain from using the stapler. This is for your own safety as well as the convenience of others.

If you are unable to reload the stapler due to lack of opposable thumbs or just plain ignorance, please ask for assistance.

Remember: This is just an ordinary stapler, not a rocket powered attaching device. It will NOT staple together half a ream of paper.

Unlike a plowing mule, hitting it really hard will not make the stapler work harder to accomplish your goal. Stapling imaginary paper will only clog the stapler because there is nowhere for the bent staple to go. Please staple your imaginary paper with an imaginary stapler. In other words: Do Not Play With The Stapler.
Stapler hide-and-go-seek may sound like a fun game but it is not. Place the stapler back where you found it. Which is right here.

Bar/Bri Begins

Barbri bar review started last week.
It is primarily (ok, actually) a series of video lectures. The real work is in the reading before the lecture and the answering of questions after the lecture in order to learn the material. Every thing that was learned in law school must be re-learned, summarized, applied, and distinguished.
The multiple choice portion of the bar will test fine line distinctions in the law and the essays will test your ability to put it all together.
Some subjects we didn’t learn in law school, others we did. Nonetheless we must learn the material as the bar examiners will test it, not necessarily how it is applied in real life.
The schedule is detailed as to what needs to be completed, and quite frankly, there is little time to spare

I was surprised by the few number of people attending the lecture. We elected to take the evening class. There are about 30 people attending at night, and less than 50 during the day lectures. That means that about 80 people are taking the Barbri classes and a few more who opted to only take the IPOD version of the taped lectures. I suspect that it is not that many. Between about 450 and 600 people will take February Georgia bar exam with us. So, surprisingly, only a small portion of the bar takers are actually taking the Bar/Bri review course.

There are other review courses out there, but Barbri is by far the most popular and most other courses also recommend that you take Barbri as well. I have to admit that the information so far leads me to believe that Barbri has done their research as to what is and is not likely to be on the exam. The bar exam passage rate for the February exam is less than 60%. It seems absurd that someone would not take the time to do a bar review course. Hopefully this will increase our chances on the scale. I certainly hope so. The course schedule has been the most helpful thing so far. Until I got the schedule I was kind of lost as to what I needed to be studying and how much emphasis I needed to put on each subject. Barbri kind of takes that out of your hands so that you don’t have to worry about deciding on it. The trade off is that the volume of work is much greater than you probably would have done on your own. However, that is probably a good thing.

I have to take breaks every once in a while because the volume of information is crushing to re-learn or in some cases to learn anew. So I am taking this time to write a short blog. This is something that I have neglected to the point that I am sure that I have lost a great deal of readers. But I feel sure that I will make more entries over the next few weeks.

Day after the election

The day after the elections, the conservatives realize that they took a whipping that will not likely fade from memory soon. Across America, the day after elections, the loosing party pulls back, licks their wounds, and tries to figure out why they lost, and what to do now. I had done the math. I knew the race was lost for McCain when he didn’t pull off Ohio or Pennsylvania. There were no surprises here.

The economy was in shambles thanks to oil price fluctuations that fueled a hike on all prices and the rest of the economy was left to figure out what to do. Eventually it has begun to subside, but the recent memory of hardship struck a blow to the current conservative leadership in which American simply told the government that they were not happy with what was happening.

It is really not surprising that Barack Obama won the presidential election. Historically we see a shift when one party has a president in office for two terms. We kind of like swapping them out every once in a while. Plus, with a black person being the first major party candidate going into an election, you could kind of figure that it was going to be that way.
I wonder what happens now to the race baiters that have made their living for so long telling minorities that there is no hope. I kind of hope they are out of a job. That would be a true victory for America.
Conservatism didn’t suffer a wholesale defeat. All of the elections were relatively close and gay marriage bans won across the board, even in California.

We will have a chance to see what the democrats will do with their power. I am thankful that there was no super majority in congress. Frankly I disagree with some of the shenanigans that I see democrats trying to pull. Same goes for the republicans sometimes. Quite frankly, I don’t trust any of them. But at least they wont have a wholesale ability to shove unwanted legislation down America’s throat. I think the legislative branch is at its best when it is divided. That way real important legislation makes it through and the crap does not. Most of it anyway.

Obama scares me somehow. I just don’t know how to explain it. But sometimes you just have to trust your gut instinct. I don’t like his muslim ties. I worry about his pro-Palestine stance. I worry about his anti- Israeli stance. I don’t like his liberal agenda. I don’t care for his slick presentations. I am bothered by his foreign relatives living in huts while he becomes the most powerful man in the world. I am bothered by his aunt (who attended his swearing in ceremony into the legislature) who now lives in a big city slum. I am bothered by his wife who his campaign kept well hid because she was making too many verbal gaffs. Too many things worry me about this man and his plans for “change”. I have friends who swear up and down that Obama fits the profile for the antichrist. I don’t know if that is true. But if there is a rapture, I wont be writing this blog anymore. I will watching this all play out from somewhere else.

Did I want McCain to win? Yea, sure. But he wasn’t my first choice. When McCain ran the first time, he was not what you would call a conservative republican dream candidate. 4 years later the republican thought he was just conservative enough to pull it off. Even if McCain had won, the true conservatives wouldn’t have been happy, but they would find it tolerable. As for the other republicans that ran, Mit Romney was just as scary to me as Obama so I hope he doesn’t run again in 4 years.

I am so glad that the election is over. I am sick of the public ass kissing that Obama received from the bulk of the media. I feel that America was swayed by the political leanings of their news commentators. Things will soon change for Obama. The media loves to throw rocks at those in power. The honeymoon wont last long. Obama got away with some fairly flimsy excuses and exaggerated promises during the election. Soon the media will have to start doing its job in order to keep readers and viewers interested. Some tough questions will be asked of Obama soon. And soon those who saw Obama as the answer to their housing, economy, and financial woes will be disillusioned with the empty promises and realize that there is no simple answer, and the president’s agenda has little to do with their prosperity.

Oil has already started to spiral down. The economy will inevitably recover. Obama will get some credit for this. But eventually he too will be faced with some tough times for which he, like all presidents, will take the blame. Sure, it was time for some change in our political offices. I just wonder if America has made the right one. I am not happy with the results of this election. But I seldom am. I will survive whatever stupid decisions are made in Washington. I just hope that my country does not suffer for the one that they made.

Electoral College Tie

So there is this election thing going on today…

And it is a tight race.
All arguments about shady practices by either side aside, what happens if it is an extremely close race.
“How close?” you ask.
Well, there are 538 electoral college votes. Although they say that it is not statistically likely to happen (Last look said the likelihood was about 3.2%). There is a chance of the votes being split in the electoral college at 269 to 269.
What happens then?
When we were little and we would have a tie in game it was called "sister kisser". "It is like kissing your sister. It dont count."
Everybody hates a tie. There is no winner. We, as Americans love a winner, and dispise loosing.

So what does happen if there is a tie in the electoral college?

The 12th amendment provides for the procedure.
In the event of a tie, the House of Representatives would vote for a president and the Senate would pick the vice president when Congress reconvenes in January.

What about this scenario:
The newly elected House, seated in January, is unable to muster a majority to choose a president after a 269-269 tie, but the Senate, which is expected to be controlled by Democrats, picks Sen. Joseph R. Biden Jr. from the Democratic ticket. If the House is still deadlocked at noon on Inauguration Day, Jan. 20, Mr. Biden becomes acting president.

OR:
Neither the House nor the Senate fulfills its constitutional duty to select the president and the vice president by Jan. 20, so House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, California Democrat, becomes acting president until the whole mess is sorted out.

OR:
What if an electoral college elector casts a faithless vote (votes for the other guy)?
24 States have laws to punish faithless electors. That means that 26 states do not. This is unlikely because the electors are usually closely related to their party. Unlikely and not probable, but possible.


Things to think about…

Barbri

We have began studying for the bar exam in February.
There is a saying among law students in regards to the bar exam. It goes something like this: “Do it once. Do it right. Never do it again.”
I’ve heard more bar prep horror stories than I care to recall. Much worse than anything in law school. And I have more than one friend who has taken the bar more than once. I don’t want to take chances with bar prep. So we are taking Barbri’s bar prep courses. Everything that is on the bar you don’t learn in law school. You have to pick up the extra material in a bar prep course before taking the bar. Barbri currently has the lock on being the most comprehensive Bar prep course on the market. Most people swear that Barbri is essential.

Barbri begins in January. Barbri fees are due by December first in order to avoid a $75 dollar late fee. Our combined bar prep fee is around $5000 just to take Barbri. We opted out of taking PMBR just because of the cost even though we both have about $100 already paid into PMBR.
Bar prep is a big cost, and with my lack of a job, Crystal’s job almost pays for our current bills. Six grand for Barbri means that we have to get a bar prep loan. Great. Just great. But with me already owing six figures, what is the difference of a few thousand more. Our law schools loans are currently in a hold position (in deference or hold or whatever they call it nowdays) until a little while after the bar. At that time we will need to look into consolidation loans and repayment. It is not that far off. But we really cant afford to worry about that right now.

We have inherited a good bit of bar prep material from friends and are currently using that along with our law school materials and some early bird Barbri courses taken earlier this year to start prepping early. We will need it. The amount of material is amazing. It is a task unlike any I have ever approached. Some of it I will be learning anew. Some of it I will be relearning. They say it is approachable if you break it down into sections and have a study plan. Ok, that’s a good idea. Only one problem, I have no idea where to start. I have no idea of how to allocate time and on what subjects I need to concentrate the most. I will have to do a little research and figure it all out. In the mean time, I am still looking for a job, worrying about bills, starting to study, wondering where I need to concentrate, and wondering where I will be when bar results come out at the end of next May.
And in the mean time, I will continue to write on this blog. Hopefully it will keep me focused and you mildly entertained.

To kill a mockingbird - or just make him move away

Recently I picked back up Harper Lee’s “To kill a Mockingbird”. The book is the quintessential southern gothic and I highly recomend it if you have not read it.
In the book Harper Lee said that it was a sin to kill a mockingbird because mockingbirds never harm other living creatures. I understand the juxtaposition of the death of the mockingbird and the death of innocence in the book and all that. But I disagree with the point that a mockingbird won’t harm anything. Mockingbirds are like little heathen gang members.

Jerry, the only mockingbird that I ever knew personally, lived in a tree not far from my front door. He was a terrible and aggressive creature. Maybe it had eggs or little ones in the nest in the tree. But every time I would walk outside the front door, it would screech and dive bomb me until I was out of site. Our poor cat lived in fear of the front door.
Jerry would swoop down and flog the cat, pin him down low and then come in for another flogging swoop. The cat ran for cover in a drain pipe and the mockingbird guarded it until the poor cat had to make his way down the pipe a half block away. The cat eventually made it out the other end and snuck back to the side door where he was let in. From that day on, he would sit in the front window an gnash his teeth at the bird through the glass but lived in immortal fear of going out the front door. I named the bird “Jerry” because he was constantly harassing the little tomcat.

Mockingbirds can imitate just like a parrot. I would go outside and take the cordless phone with me. I would lay the phone down as I worked in the yard. If it rang I didn’t have to run back inside to answer it. All I had to do was pick it up and press “talk”. Eventually, Jerry learned to imitate the sound of the phone. He was actually quite adept at it. He sounded exactly like my telephone. This was funny at first. But a little known fact is that mockingbirds are prolific singers and will make noise all day and sometimes all night. Thus the phone rang whether it was ringing or not at all hours. I eventually had to buy a phone with a different ringer to be able to tell the difference.

Jerry was like a little Frank Sinatra. He sang all the time. Especially on the weekends when your head is under the covers hiding from the early morning sunlight. Jerry also loved to sit on the power line running to my house. The power line cut across the drive way. So Jerry used it as his own private little lavatory. The thing more annoying that being dive bombed was the bombs that he left on my car.

Jerry had to go.
I toyed with the idea of a BB gun but was afraid that if I missed the neighbors would have a cracked window. He seemed to disappear whenever I brought out the BB gun anyway. So I bought a plastic owl and hung him in the tree next to Jerry. I enjoyed watching Jerry dive bomb the owl and make his yellow eyes jiggle. Eventually Jerry got accustomed to the plastic owl and one morning I noticed that Jerry had switched his lavatory to the limb just above the plastic owl. Either it got too cold and Jerry move south or he decided that his bird poop covered plastic barn owl neighbor had driven down his property value to the point that he needed to move. Either way, good riddance Mr. Mockingbird. Harper Lee was full of crap.

Trick or Treat - You choose

I cant stand trick or treaters.
I know, I know. It is a kids holiday. I am supposed to love giving away free candy to kids dressed as fairies and spidermans.
But I don’t.

Years ago I lived in a nice neighborhood that was known to have lots of treaters and we got hit pretty heavy. People would come from miles around so they could put their kids out at one end of the street and pick them up on the other with their bags full of goodies.
Some time in the evening I had to run to the store, so I put a bowl out with candy and a sign that said “take one”. I was gone 5 minutes. The bowl was empty. I had been robbed!

Every year it is the same. A few kids I know show up in the cute outfit so that the parents can show them off and then a bunch of kids I don’t know show up with an open bag begging for candy. Some of them don’t even have costumes. I wish I had a rotten apple to give those no costume kids. I remember Charlie Brown getting a rock in his sack. That is funny. But I know the little hoodlums would just throw it at my house.

Don’t get me wrong. I was a little fat kid who knew how to work Halloween for all it was worth. We hit every house within distance and hit the relatives twice. I had two bags. One bag stayed in the car and one bag went with you to the house. Once I got goodies I emptied them into the one in the car and then went to the next set of houses with only a piece or two in the bag. When they answer the door you give big happy “Trick or Treat!” or if you knew them very well the proverbial “Trick or Treat – Smell my feet – Give me something good to eat!” The people answering the door would load you down because they felt sorry for you after seeing all the other kids with full bags. I guess they thought we had got a late start. But you got more candy with an empty bag. I shared the secret with my siblings the next year and bada bing bada bang bada boom – it was a dandy candy explosion.

That year I had a Halloween haul so big that I still had candy hid under the bed at Easter (another free candy for kids holiday). I donated it all to my sister. She ate candy till she was sick. But she was smart and kept quiet about why she was sick. The next day she did it again. My parents took her to the doctor. They thought it might be a bad Easter egg. But she didn’t squeal on me. We were tight like that. We also learned a valuable lesson about moderation and something called an “expiration date”.

Having worked the system with such gusto for so long, I guess I got old and cynical early. But my plan this year is to put an EMPTY bowl out on the porch with a sign in it that says “TAKE ONE”.

Trick or Treat?
This year I choose "Trick".